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Holiday Celebration That I Remember
Write! Plan your paragraph about a holiday celebration that you remember.
a. What is your main topic? Write it here.
During my new year holiday I spent my vacation with my family.
b. What are your subtopics? Write them on the line below.
- Pray at Ulun Danu Bratan Temple
-Go to Gitgit Waterfall
- Go to Nuyan Lake
During my new year holiday I spent my vacation with my family. Many things that I do with my family. First, in the morning we went to the Ulun Danu Bratan Temple to pray. We used that moment because I rarely spend time with my family. After doing the praying, we go to the Bedugul to do recreation, there we can see many rare plants and the air is very cool that we rarely feel while in the town. The second, we went to the Gitgit waterfall. There the waterfall is very beautiful, and they set up some arena. After satisfying at the waterfall we look for lodging, in Bedugul there are so many lodging because many tourists come there.And the last, we went to the lake of Buyan. The water is very clear, my family really like fishing. In short, I really liked the holiday last year because I can spend time with family.
Hello, Krisna, i really like ur article, and we are all love our country“s new year, hahaha. it is clear that i can know about more about how ur family celebrate this festival. Although i like ur seeay, i need to give ur advice. if u can add some words like in addition and so on is better. thank u so much.
ReplyDeleteGreat structure! I can clearly see your important points and you emphasize well on your subtopics. Your supporting sentence also help me to understand your idea. Great connection between 1 to another point.
ReplyDeleteYou might want to change "Many things that I do with my family" into ... I did with ... As it happened in the past.
Hello Krisna, Glad to see your paragraph, I think your paragraph was being structure well, easily for me to understand your topic sentence, major and also a minor supporting sentence in your paragraph. it because you underlined it and give a marked in that sentences. Wow!! Kris I want to go there, it's a beautiful place I can feel it when I'm reading your paragraph. Anyway, I wanna give a suggestion on this sentences " There the waterfall is very beautiful" better if you changed it to "waterfall in there is very beautiful" to make it more smooth
ReplyDeleteThank You and Keep it up ^-^
Its a good article! But its more intetresting if you separated your words into some paraghraph to make the readers feel not bored.
ReplyDeleteGood job!